How to have a successful first meeting
Here are some tips that I have learned personally and from other men on tour.
First, your initial encounter is not a date, but a meeting. Probably the two of you have never met and your mutual purpose is to learn a bit about the other person and determine if there is a connection and a reason to see each other again.
Unless there is a good reason, NEVER CANCEL A MEETING OR DATE. This reflects poorly on you and AFA’s reputation and future clients. The ladies go to a lot of trouble to present themselves attractively and make arrangements to meet.
Set aside perhaps an hour for the first meeting. If the lady understands this, everyone is comfortable. You will know quickly if there is a connection. You owe her some of your time, but not a three hour dinner date. Rather it should be a casual coffee or wine encounter. If the two of you are charmed by each other, you can easily extend it to several hours more.
One of four things will happen at the end of this encounter.
1. Neither of you will be interested in each other — no problem.
2. She will be interested in you (you’ll know) and you will not be interested. This will require some diplomacy. If you feel that it isn’t going to work, after an hour, simply glance at your watch, rise and shake her hand and say, “It was very nice to meet you. Thanks for taking the time to meet me. Her dignity is still intact and you are free to go.
3. You will be interested in her but she will not be interested in you (you’ll know). Suck it up, buddy. Be gracious and friendly. She may have a friend.
4. Both of you are interested. Cool. Ask for the date. At least ask if you can call her soon. Then be sure to do it.
Let’s explore this a bit deeper. Be honest. If she is not going to make it in the looks department, you will know right away. If there are serious mismatches in other areas, they will be revealed early in your conversation. She may be interested while you are not. What you want to do is be gracious and give her the courtesy of a pleasant cup of coffee. Can you remember being turned down for a job on a first interview? If the recruiter was a decent person, you at least got the respect of a few questions and some conversation. Enjoy her company and practice networking. You never know. Even if it isn’t going to work, she may find you so charming that she’ll tell her friends. When it’s time to go, pay the check, ask if you can walk her to her taxi and pay for it. Tell her it was nice to meet her and wish her luck. Don’t feel guilty. You met your obligation and behaved like a gentleman. You have nothing to apologize for. The next time it could be your turn.
At the end of the encounter, turn your attention to your AFA translator. Although you understand that you owe $20 per hour for the services, I always ask, “What do I owe you?”
Then do something few guys think of. Offer a small tip. Not only will the word get around, but she will be happy to offer her impressions of the meeting, the lady and your behavior. Since she has more native knowledge than you, this will be very valuable.
Carefully select where the meeting should occur. The staff will help you. There is no need to go to a fancy Sushi restaurant that will be expensive. You are the host and she is your guest. Obviously, never go on a shopping trip!
I hope that this is helpful and as always, I wish you the best.