How’s it going in the Ukraine? – A Letter from a satisfied client

How’s it going in the Ukraine?

Hi guys,

Check this note to John Adams from a client who is in Ukraine at the moment. Although he has found someone he is very interested in, he regrets that he won’t be able to return if all goes well! This positive reaction is very typical no matter where clients decide to go. Read on and make plans to go to the country of your choice in the near future.

Bob Wray


I just wanted to say what an amazing experience being on the tour has been, Your team have been so professional, with such a great leader in Bud, and as for the socials, well there really are so many ladies seeking boyfriends that it is actually unbelievable. It has taken me until the third social to get my mind around just how real these opportunities are. The hotels have been great, such a pleasure having an on-site ‘war-room’ and your translators are excellent and helpful. I am just totally blown away by this Ukraine experience I almost don’t want to find love so that I can come back again… But I think Cupid has another Idea, and she’s texting me right now that we will be meeting tomorrow for lunch and the all-important 3rd date.


Too many women to date!


Bud Patterson authored a great article for those of you still considering going on a romance tour. Here it is – read on and change your life for the better.

Bob Wray



Let’s face it, there’s a lot of mystery in international dating. There’s a lot of mystery in online dating and personals to begin with but in this realm we add the distance, cultural differences and language barriers. It’s no wonder traveling with a Romance Tour to meet beautiful foreign ladies in high number seems a bit daunting. Once the first few days in your host city are out of the way, however, and all the orientation and logistics stuff has been taken care of, it’ll be time to meet ladies – and we’re not talking a few. We’re talking hundreds!

You booked your tour, you got to your destination, got checked into your hotel comfortably, met the group, the tour leader and staff – and here you are about to walk into your first social singles party where the ratio of ladies to men will be somewhere around 8:1. No matter how many weeks or months of preparation you’ve put into this trip, no matter how well you paid attention at orientation there’s just no way to prepare yourself for the reality of being at a party with possibly hundreds of attractive international ladies and a much, MUCH smaller number of men. Still, you walked, looked around and can’t believe your eyes.

In the last newsletter, we talked about the likely scenario that a bunch of ladies would try to introduce themselves to you simultaneously at every social. That’s going to happen, there’s no doubt about it, but as I pointed out then – this is a good problem to have. The whole reason you’re doing a Romance Tour to begin with (or an Introduction Club for that matter) is to find the best available woman – not just any available woman – to fall in love, right? To do this, you’ll need to meet a good number of compatible ladies and that’s why AFA offers its men and women the social experience.

Typically, in every Romance Tour destination, guys will meet many ladies at the socials, go out on dates right after the socials and meet ladies in between socials as our staff fills each day with more and more dates. You can see where this is going, right? The average Romance Tour is 7 – 10 days long. The socials will occur right up front, starting on Day Two. By Day Three or Four, clients have been to a few socials, have met a number of compatible girls, and have had first and second dates. And as those first dates progress into second and third dates, each date gets longer and longer and inevitably – the seeds of romance are sown.

Keep in mind, in order to help tour clients succeed in their mission, AFA will add to your social success and fill your every day with a number of additional dates. How likely is it to quickly find yourself over-booked? Yep. But again, it’s a very good problem to have and just the problem you’ve paid AFA to create for you, right? So, when you find your schedule filling up with second, third and even more first dates – don’t panic. Don’t overreact. Don’t worry, just realize what your priorities are and focus on what you’re trying to accomplish. Date when it makes sense to and whom it makes sense to meet. Prioritize ladies who appear to be the most compatible for long-term harmony. Remember every date doesn’t have to belong and drawn out. Coffee dates are great. Cocktail dates are too.

Whatever you do please don’t cancel dates. I know this is tempting as you get deeper into the tour and you’re finding happiness with one or two you’ve already spent significant time with. Canceling dates, however, is humiliating for the women and frustrating for the staff. Ask for dates where you want them – and keep your commitment to each one. You never know where or when the most compatible girl of your tour will find you. Most foreign girls are friendly and all are interested and right for you on some level. Only after a number of introductions can you be sure you’re moving forward with the very best girl for your future. Now you know how Bon Jovi feels. Have fun with that.


Quid pro Quo

Quid pro Quo


A bit of Latin, however the phrase is often used in business. It means “this for that”. Let’s consider your effort to seek your one and only beyond our shores.


First, a few thoughts about our home country. All you have to do is consider the media – television, films, advertising or the internet. You will quickly realize that our country is “age prejudiced”. Also beauty is a huge commodity.


According to the 2010 census, there are a few more men than women here. Decent American guys are raised to be polite and respectful of the opposite gender. We practice good manners and understand that it is our role to provide for our families and do our best to avoid harmful behavior such as adultery and alcoholism. As it should, our country provides laws against domestic violence and child abandonment. The divorce rate here is well over 50%. The majority of these are initiated by women.


If you have not traveled a great deal, you assume that these factors are similar in other countries. However, it is quite the opposite, especially in the nine countries where A Foreign Affair offers romance tours.


Foreign women are very surprised by our behavior because it is not the norm locally. We must be careful not to paint all men in these countries with a wide brush. However, what we offer is very scarce among the men in these countries. Also, in several there are a great deal more women than men, especially in Eastern Europe.


So, there is the “quid”. The vast majority of AFA clients have a great deal to offer when compared to the local men. This fact is well known among the 44,000 women who hopefully post their profiles on It is sad, but the vast majority of them will never meet any of us in person. That is because very few of us take the effort to travel internationally. The odds are all in our favor if you make the decision to go and change your life for the better.


We offer respect, stability, faithfulness and love. Characteristics that are very rare locally.


Perhaps now we can understand the “quo”. These women offer youth and beauty as well as other qualities such as faithfulness.


Unless you possess the looks of a film star and/or have a great deal of money, success in our country is very difficult. This is because youth and beauty are a huge commodity here. However, it is exactly the opposite in the countries represented in AFA profiles. Actually, the competition there is fierce. You only have to travel on a tour to discover this for yourself. It is the only way. Endless letters will never provide you with the love you seek.


As always, I wish you well,


Bob Wray

A Five Point Strategy for Success


I have posted this before, however I believe that it can help many who are struggling to understand how to proceed in finding an international life mate. I hope you find value in it. But remember as I have said many times. Nothing will happen until  you make a decision to travel to the country of your choice to meet personally with some of the 45,000 lovely ladies offered by AFA. I wish you the best.

Bob Wray

A Five Point Strategy for Success

 First – As the ancient Greeks said – “know thyself”. It has been said that these are the most important two words ever spoken. It is not easy. It is doubtful that we are honest about this. It requires impartial thought. If you are successful then you can assemble a reasonable criteria for your future life partner. Stick to it as you encounter the many beautiful women on A Foreign Affair.

 Second – Then do all you can to educate yourself about the process. Other than this blog, your best source is It would take you weeks to completely study and understand all that is offered on the site. Learn to use the many features and be certain to complete the free registration. Also, be certain to dial in to the regular Monday night calls. The easy instructions to do so can be found on the home page of You can just listen and learn or ask any questions you may have. Continue educating yourself – I still do.

 Third – Examine the many cultures offered through A Foreign Affair – Asia, Latin America and Europe. Look at some of the more than 40,000 profiles and decide what appeals to you. Once you decide, do all you can to understand about the culture. It will serve you well when you finally decide to join the very small percentage of men who actually travel to their selected destination. As you review the beautiful women you can encounter in your preferred country try to match these to the many romance tours offered. Of course other options such as the Executive Program and individual tours are available as well.

 Fourth – Once you have selected a country, try to identify the cities included on the romance tour and identify several women that meet your criteria and appeal to you. Rather than write endless letters and engage in a month’s long “pen- pal” situation, save your money towards a future trip.

 Fifth – When you have booked your tour or individual travel, then select a few ladies in each city and write letters to each. It is very important that you state in the subject line that you will soon be in their city. This really sets you apart from the many letters she may receive. You can include as much detail about your plans in the body of the note as you wish. Let her know that you will have the local office contact her once you arrive. NEVER TRAVEL TO ONLY MEET ONE LADY! Perhaps you will meet her and there is not the chemistry you seek either way. What will you do then? Of course if you are on a romance tour with the socials you may encounter a woman where all the pieces are in place. I have seen this several times, but it is rare. You can also look through the catalogs and ask for the help of the office. However, there is no assurance that the lady is available or is interested in meeting you. Resist the urge to write endless letters. Instead vow to travel to the country of your choice.

 The two most important factors in success are age and children.

 Match your age to the many ladies you will have the opportunity to meet. There will be very attractive women under the age of 25 that will be happy to have a nice meal or even go shopping. However, a woman this young has very little life experience. It is my experience that a woman who is 21 and a domestic woman of the same age are not that different. As the song says “Girls just want to have fun”. You are very serious in your search for a life partner. Have fun if you wish, but please understand if she is not in your generation and you are older than her parents, the odds are not in your favor. A difference of 15 years can work. There are exceptions of course, but they are exceptional.


This is a huge issue. You must have an opinion about it. You don’t need to express that opinion on the first date, but it’s just good to have one for a number of reasons. The older you are, the more critical the issue becomes. Many women are already mothers. It is very rare to find a mature woman who has no children. How do you feel about this? If you are absolutely certain that it is unacceptable, fine. Just have an opinion. You cannot expect to seriously date a woman with children without your lives becoming intertwined. It is something you must accept. They are a package deal. Of course, they may have an involved father. That’s a whole other program. Some guys love the idea of a built-in family. There is a lot of complexity here. We are just asking you to give it serious thought. There is no sense starting down the road with a woman with children if you are not going to be able to deal with them.

If you have children, you have a challenge as well. Your dates are going to have to have this information fairly soon. It could go either way for you. We do not recommend that you introduce a woman to your kids until well into a relationship. It is not fair to the kids or to her. Children bond easily. You are probably divorced, so they are already going through a lot. They don’t need to get attached to your lady, only to have you move on in a few weeks. Keep your dating and your fathering separate. Also, make sure that your fathering comes first. We know this is tough, but that’s what good Dads (and real men) do.

As childless women approach their late thirties many of them begin to panic. You have heard of the ticking “biological clock,” no doubt. While medical science is doing incredible things with reproduction, there are serious problems for a woman at this stage of life. The longer she waits, the less likely it is that she will conceive. There are procedures to help, but they are expensive and marginally successful. Additionally, later pregnancies carry more risk for the baby and the mother. What does all this mean? It has an impact on dating. Time is now an issue for these women. They must find the right guy who will be a good husband and father and want to have children right away. That’s a lot of pressure. You need to be aware and sensitive to this when you are involved with her. The dating cycle is compressed. She will not be willing to give you several years to make up your mind. Also, you need to be fair and not trifle with her affections if you are not prepared to move at a faster pace. As always, honesty and communication go a long way. You will have to have frank discussions fairly early on. Another consideration is that some women in this position might behave more desperately than they would have ten years ago. You must take this into consideration.

If you are certain that you do not want children — that is your right. You will severely limit the pool of women who will be willing to seriously date you. It is something you will have to accept. If you really mean what you say, get a vasectomy. It is a very simple procedure — it just sounds bad. There is a reversal procedure that has a percentage of success, but it is expensive. You should postpone such a serious decision until your thirties. Of course, you will have to communicate this to any woman you get serious about. There are women who are very serious about their careers or who don’t want to be moms for other reasons. There are just not that many of them. She may have elected to have a tubal ligation, which will prevent her from conceiving.

If you are younger and are not a father now, your options are wide open. You have time. You can date whom you please. Know this — most women want to be mothers. It’s a natural fact. You don’t have to face this right away, but once things get serious it will come up. Here is where you should have an opinion. Do you want them at all? Do you want them sooner or later? How many? It is best to have a general idea of what you eventually want. It shows responsibility on your part. That is always attractive to women.

If there is a man in her past that had a significant relationship with her, you may have to contend with some fallout. He could be an ex-husband, a former fiancée or even a long-term boyfriend. If there are no children involved, she should have resolved all their issues before getting involved with someone else. This is a good measure of her emotional health and maturity. If the ties are still in place — watch out. You want a clear field. You deserve it. Sometimes she will still be in contact with his parents and family. Courtesy and civility are one thing. Spending Christmas with this guy and his family is another. Children are an entirely different matter. Understand something very clearly. Kids always come first. If she is a mom, then she is a mom first and your girlfriend second. It has to be that way. Those kids may have an involved dad and he has to be big part of their lives. That may make him a big part of your life if you get serious with her. This is a package deal. It is not an easy road. That doesn’t make it impossible. It will take a lot of maturity, commitment and patience on your part to make things work. Maybe she is worth it. Also, you need to accept his family as part of the kids’ lives. They may be in-laws from Hell. You will have to be accommodating and pleasant in order for the kids to maintain their involvement with his folks.

If you are a dad, then you can reverse engineer the last paragraph. She has to be willing to embrace the whole program. Kids require constant care and attention until they are adults. They will always be a part of your lives as adults. Think very carefully about all of this. That cute little five-year old will be arguing with his mom for the car in eleven short years. By the way, how will things work if the two of you have one or two kids of your own? Will all things be equal for all the kids — yours, mine and ours? The Brady Bunch was just a TV show. Be very careful.