A Revealing Letter from Maripoul

Hi guys,

I thought that you would find this letter from a girl in Maripoul interesting. Although they are not under siege like Donesk, they are close to Crimea. Her attitude and perspective is very revealing of conditions there. So clearly caution on your part is for the best. Read on . . .

Bob

hi Bob.. sorry to trouble you .. maybe you was not glad to hear from me again, because you did not answer on my last letter and it seems for me that you are not interested anymore ..its ok, but I just wonder how some people from here can trust each other if they write such offensive things to me .. one guy from one of such a resources had written to me that somehow I can make money someways, and on such sites most likely I earn more than a thousand dollars per month.. haha .. interesting how? .. I just wonder – I have two children and the war here to take care of other things than listening to such claims from strangers .. and I have not the concept of how some can earn money when you are looking for a man .. but it seems there are many such stories, because it is not the first claim that I get from men .. I have heard that some women seek foreign men because their life difficult in Ukraine, and that they looking abroad because here is a bad economy and now is the war .. so they want to go from here to get married and just leave this unstable country .. but for me it is sounds like the simple prostitution, and nothing else. I can not believe that here can be so many women of easy virtue, I can not understand, am I really positioned me ever in this way? I just need to know – am I really spend my time in vain looking for men on such resources? Maybe you have not answered me, because you think of me the same things? I do not need anything from you, the only thing that I need to understand – is the men, who think of women like me such strange things .. do you happen do not know? .. anyway, all the best for you

 

Deals to the Ukraine

Deals to the Ukraine

Hi guys,

If you are interested in travel to the Ukraine, prices could not be better. I plan to travel there in January. I am fortunate that I can easily fly from JFK to Kiev. If you live further away and may have frequent flyer points or even if you do not, check prices to JFK.

Today I checked and the fare is $618!! – with only one stop. I can recall paying twice that two years ago. There is more.

For years the exchange rate was 8 UAH (their currency) to $1. It is now 15.8 to $1. Not only that but the hotel I prefer is only $32 per night with breakfast!

I expect it to get better for us. If you use your debit or credit card, you can expect this rate, but there will be a small charge. One caution – you will not be able to convert the UAH to USD on your departure.

The local currency can be used everywhere – taxis, restaurants, and interpreters.

The economy in Ukraine is not solid and our dollars are most welcome for the foreseeable future.  

You may find that local prices are firm, but the exchange rate is very favorable.

The bottom line is that it is a great time to travel. So if you plan to book the February or April AFA tour, you can benefit.

Best of luck,

Bob

90 Day Visa on TLC

90 Day Visa on TLC

Hi guys,

Happy holidays and a bright new 2015 to all. Before I get started on this topic, make yourself a few meaningful New Year’s resolutions. I myself take them very seriously.

Make a promise to yourself that you will do all you can to educate yourself about this process. There is much to learn, but fortunately there is lots of help, especially from AFA.

There is their website, loveme.com. It would take a person days to review all the information there.

There is Bud Patterson’s excellent book “Foreign Bride 101
A “How-To” For Nice Guys”. There is nothing like it anywhere. I read it myself several times before my first tour. Also there is Bud’s Monday Night calls. You should always listen in. The details to login at 9:30 EST are at the bottom of the loveme.com homepage. I always learn something. He also has a great blog called foreignbride101.com.

I offer two things that may help. You are reading this on my blog, foreignbrideguide.com. I have over 100 posts here to help you. If you have not dated in a while, you may find my book, “A Man’s Field Guide to Dating” useful.

Make yourself a serious promise to travel to the country of your choice as soon as you are able, considering time and finances. You will never be sorry. Enjoy yourself and learn what you can, but resist confusion between true love and infatuation.

Now that we have had this discussion, on to our topic.

The Learning Channel, TLC, has been airing a show called 90 Day Fiancée Visa. I think you should watch it with reservation. While you will learn some about the process, it tends to be a study in what NOT to do.

The producers are looking for drama, of course. They want people to watch and see the advertising. We all realize that this is the nature of programming.  

It is really quite simple actually. These couples did not allow enough time and learning as much as possible about each other before applying for the visa.

Because of technology and more relaxed politics, the world is becoming smaller all the time. This allows for couples to share as much as possible before ever applying for the visa. The problems illustrated in the program could have been easily resolved or at the very least exposed if the couples had taken a reasonable amount of time getting to know as much as possible about each other.

Here is an analogy. When domestic couples date, become engaged and plan a wedding, are they limited to 90 days? Naturally all relationships have their own time frame, but usually it lasts a year or more. Not only that, but by the time a wedding is imminent, very little is not known.

So bottom line? Couples should spend a reasonable amount of time emailing, Skyping, talking on the phone and visiting before limiting themselves to 90 days. This takes away a great deal of pressure and increases the chances of a successful marriage. Of course, it does not present a good candidate for a “reality” style TV episode!

Ukrainian Christmas

Christmas Eve is the evening of January 6. All day we do not eat and get ready for the evening. As soon as the first star appears we sit down to dinner. We prepare 12 different dishes. The main dish is Kutya. It is made from wheat, nuts, honey and poppy seeds. We also cook traditional Christmas compote of dried fruits – uzvar.
Pirozhok – a dish made of dough stuffed, baked or fried that. Different recipes for pirozhki there are so many. The differences relate to the butter (usually used yeast) and toppings. It can be with meat, cabbage, potato, mushrooms. And also sweet with jam, apples, cherries and many other.
Ded Moroz is our version of Santa Claus. Ded Moroz is depicted as an old man in color – blue, red or white coat, with a long white beard and a stick in his hand, in the boots. Rides a trio of horses. Inseparable with his granddaughter Snegurochka, usually depicted in white, silver or blue coat. New Year’s Eve Ded Moroz put presents under the Christmas tree for children.

How International Ladies Celebrate Christmas and New Year

Hi Guys,

With his permission, here is Bud’s excellent seasonal blog. Enjoy and happy holidays to all. Please do yourself a favor and make a New Year’s resolution to travel to one of AFA’s locations and find that special someone.

Bob

How International Ladies Celebrate Christmas and New Year

It’s hard to believe, but the first two weeks of December are behind us. In the next half of the month, and the last few weeks of 2014, people all over the world will draw near to friends and family and pause appropriately to celebrate Christmas and the New Year. If you are reading this, there’s an excellent chance you’ve met a beautiful international girl and are working to bring your worlds together in 2015. Perhaps you are deep in correspondence with someone you hope to meet abroad soon. In either case, it’s probably a good idea to have some understanding of her culture and traditions during the most festive time of the year.

Christmas in China. The vast majority of Chinese people are not Christian, and do not celebrate the traditional Christmas on December 25th. They do, however, welcome in the Chinese New Year toward the end of January. The Spring Festival, as the new year is officially called, is the gift-giving occasion where children receive toys, clothing and where Chinese gather to eat large and luxurious meals and celebrate family history. Although Christians are a minority in China, they decorate their houses and trees with lights and typically put up a Christmas tree. Santa visits Chinese Christian children every December 24th, as throughout the world.

Christmas in Costa Rica. Since evergreens are rare in Costa Rica, people will decorate instead with beautiful tropical flowers, fashioning nativity scenes out of these and even fruit. St. Nicholas, also named “Colacho,” delivers presents to kids after everyone attends evening mass. Also after Christmas Eve mass, a traditional meal is eaten which likely includes tamales, egg nog and spirits. (Translation – Rum!)

Christmas in Russia and Ukraine. The Former Soviet Union wasn’t big on the traditional Christmas. Only a few devout Christians would celebrate on December 25th. The official Christmas in Russia and Ukraine is January 7th, with the major holidays starting on New Years through January 10th. January 6, Christmas Eve is called “Sochelnik.” Christmas Eve is usually a time when Russians and Ukrainians attend the Orthodox church. Granny’s will take along holiday food to be blessed by an orthodox priest before being eaten at a traditional meal the next day. Some devout Orthodox Christians will fast, choosing to not eat meat or fish on Christmas Eve. A typical holiday meal will include beetroot soup, (borscht ,) various pies filled with meet, mushrooms and cabbage (paroshki,) and salads with vegetables and herring. This author’s favorite holiday salad is a remarkable dish called “Herring Under Fur Coat.” It looks like a jello mold on steroids but it’s wonderful with brown bread and vodka!

Families can book a visit from Died Morosz ( Father Frost, the Russian / Ukrainian version of Santa,) and his granddaughter Snegorichka (Snow Maiden.) As it is traditional to drink a toast with Died Morosz when he comes to your house, and given the number of houses he is likely to visit on New Years, you’d better book an early visit or risk a tipsy Santa stammering his way up the stairs.

Christmas in The Philippines. Traditional Christian customs for the holidays are widely practiced in a country where 80% of people are Catholic. Santa Klaus will visit to deliver presents under Christmas trees and people will send Christmas cards and sing carols in church and choirs. People in the Philippines also decorate with bamboo poles, holding a lighted star lantern, called a ‘parole,” which represents the star that guided the 3 wise men. Christmas Eve is very important in the Philippines. People will often stay awake all night celebrating and observing mass right into Christmas day. Noche Buena, a holiday feast featuring roasted meats and traditional dishes, often follows Christmas Eve mass as families visit each other.

Christmas in Peru. I love how Peruvians celebrate Christmas, starting around 10pm with the Rooster Mass, or “Misa De Gallo,” and then returning home to exchange gifts and eat a large turkey dinner. Jesus’ birth is rung in with a midnight champagne toast. In fact, much of the celebrating occurs on Christmas Eve, known as “Noche Buena.” The good night. Christmas Eve day is a little more subdued.

Christmas in Thailand. In country where 90% of the population is Buddhist, it seems unlikely a Christian holiday would establish any significance, but Thais love to celebrate – just give them a reason! Some would be surprised to know that traditional Christmas elements like mistletoe, holly, gift-giving and certain treats are more rooted in long ago Winter Solstice celebrations that existed long before the Christian traditions. Just as in America and the UK, shopping malls put up decorations around Nov 1st and by December the holiday look is everywhere. Families will exchange gifts and have a traditional style meal in the evening but other than that, December 25th is pretty much an ordinary work day in Thailand.

No matter where your international girl is from, there is still time to place an order for flowers of gifts to be delivered for the upcoming holidays. Please visit A Foreign Affair’s gift delivery service page and order as soon as possible, to ensure delivery by Christmas and New Year. We wish you and your girl the best holiday season!

 

Back in the USSR

Hi guys,

As long as I’m quoting songs, here is a 1968 breakthrough by Sir Paul McCartney. At the time the Beatles were banned from playing in the USSR. At age 60 he played this in Red Square to adulation from all. He also played this in the Ukraine. A bit of inspiration from Chuck Berry and the Beach Boys. Enjoy.

Bob

**

Flew in from Miami Beach BOAC
Didn’t get to bed last night
On the way the paper bag was on my knee
Man I had a dreadful flight
I’m back in the U.S.S.R.
You don’t know how lucky you are boy
Back in the U.S.S.R.

Been away so long I hardly knew the place
Gee it’s good to be back home
Leave it till tomorrow to unpack my case
Honey disconnect the phone
I’m back in the U.S.S.R.
You don’t know how lucky you are boy
Back in the U.S.S.R.

Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out
  They leave the West behind
And Moscow girls make me sing and shout
That Georgia’s always on my mind.

I’m back in the U.S.S.R.
You don’t know how lucky you are boys
Back in the U.S.S.R.

Show me round your snow peaked mountains way down south
Take me to your daddy’s farm
Let me hear your balalaika’s ringing out
Come and keep your comrade warm.
I’m back in the U.S.S.R.
You don’t know how lucky you are boys
Back in the U.S.S.R.

Comments from a Ukrainian Girl

Hi guys,

With her permission, I would like to share some comments from a Ukrainian girl who has read my book, “A Man’s Field Guide to Dating”. Her words speak for themselves. If you have not dated in a while or had success, perhaps it may help you. I hope so, as I wrote it for you. It is available through A Foreign Affair. I wish you the best.

Bob Wray

**

Dear Bob, thank you very much for the book! I couldn’t stop reading it. Especially I enjoyed the part about the systems of values. I was thinking about it… You are 100% right, that we need to look for someone, who has the same or nearly the same system. Also I really liked about the stages of relationships and not-to-be in a hurry as this flesh of hormones and emotions may be very deceptive and last not for a long time. Your book is very inspiring! Now I know, that in order to find someone we need to date, to see people, but not to concentrate on one person and think, that he/she is perfect and blame or change myself. Now I will need time to write down the portrait of the man I want to meet and to be with. Thank you so much! I will share the book with my friends also. It’s very helpful and it opens new perspectives. Really, thank you. I enjoyed it

Did you ever have to make up your mind?

 

Hi Guys,

Believe it or not, one of the problems clients face on tour is to select among the beautiful ladies that will show an interest in them. This, of course, is a great problem to have and one that would be very rare at home. This reminded me of a great old song by John Sebastian (of Welcome Back Kotter fame). I hope you enjoy it.

Bob

Did you ever have to make up your mind?
You pick up on one and leave the other one behind
It’s not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind?

 

Did you ever have to finally decide?
And say yes to one and let the other one ride
There’s so many changes and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide?

 

Sometimes there’s one with deep blue eyes, cute as a bunny
With hair down to here and plenty of money
And just when you think she’s that one in the world
Your heart gets stolen by some mousy little girl

 

And then you know you better make up your mind
And pick up on one and leave the other one behind
It’s not often easy and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind?

 

Sometimes you really dig a girl the moment you kiss her
And then you get distracted by her older sister
When in walks her father and takes you in line
And says, “Better go home, son, and make up your mind”

 

Then you bet you’d better finally decide
And say yes to one and let the other one ride
There’s so many changes and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide?

Age Difference in the Ukraine – A Great Letter!

Age Difference in the Ukraine – A Great Letter!

Guys,

I was recently on tour with a great guy who was very thoughtful and articulate. He has shared a personal letter that he wrote to his parents explaining his reasons for seeking a younger bride in the Ukraine. This client was as sincere and serious as anyone it has been my pleasure to work with.

He was kind enough to share this personal letter with all of you so you can ponder his reasoning. Of course, the names have been changed to preserve his privacy. Read on and learn.

Bob

 

Culturally forced age matching for marriage in the USA is a fundamental reason I needed to leave the USA to find a wife.  This is why I am here. Yes, Irina is very young.  She is shorter like Aunt Alice so she might look like a child but she is fully grown, not a child, but is legally a woman and a very pretty woman too.  Nice to know she is friendly and shy once I could prove I was not lying and I was totally honest.   Most younger 20’s or 30’s women have problems with my age too.  They all have commented I don’t look 48 but look and move like I am in my 30’s.  So the clock says I am old and in some things I am older.   However, my health is above average for my age, I a simply aging at a slower rate.

I figured this relationship with Irina was just a letter meeting that would go nowhere.  I gave this relationship the lowest chance of success because of her combative nature in the letters.   I said we could met and I could prove everything I said was true. She still does not know about the house, just that I have a job and a place to stay and I plan to keep it that way as long as I can.  She should love me for who I am, not because I seduced her with lies or houses.   I did present myself honestly in my education, travel, and work experience and Irina has presented herself honestly.   She still might have a problem with my age.  Her parents still might have problems with my age.  In the letters she did but at this meeting the age difference did not matter.  She is a young woman in college and the concept of you only marry with 10 years is often practical but not a hard limit.   I specifically asked what her parents would think of this relationship.   Her answer was surprising and initially a little concerning.  She loves her parents but they cannot determine who she loves.  Given the circumstances, a fairly strong headed position but I don’t really know her family.  She is the only child so I a surprised that this family doesn’t “protect” the only child they have better.  I also asked about her parents stopping this relationship to “protect her” and she said she did not have a problem.  However, maybe if the relationship is planned as a marriage instead of a sex affair the relationship is acceptable and not too uncommon and not unheard of.  I am harmless and will do nothing bad to her.  I am looking for a responsible wife and not a toy for a day, week, or month.   Irina has known this from the start.   I am sure Irina’s parents can certainly pull funding or other controls on Irina if they are seriously concerned and stop everything cold if they really want to.  I know that Ukrainian women often want children in their late teens and 20’s for historical reasons.   People often don’t live as long here so the culture supports earlier marriages and child raising.  Most women work but they appear to balance the child raising and working better than in the Western countries.  This is why I am meeting with the same interpreter in private today or tomorrow if at all possible to determine the family dynamics and is Irina capable of being a responsible wife or it is a case of the parents are too loose, Irina is too strong headed, Irina is wild, the parents are about to shut down everything when they know that Irina a college student is interested in me for a possible marriage, they might put on a 6 month time limit, etc.  Irina lives at home so the parents both mother and father have knowledge everyday of when Irina comes and goes and generally a good idea of what she is doing.   I will learn more today and tomorrow.  We specifically had to stop the date a 8PM so she could return home to her parents.  She wants to meet today for 10 minutes at 11:20 AM to give me something before her college exam.  It could be a small gift or she might have been ordered by her parents to return the chocolates and bath soap.  I will find out in two hours. 

 


I was happier with balance of Tanya, older, knows English, able to travel outside Ukraine before to England and Germany.  Also Tanya wants more time which gives me more time too.  However, she could say no like others and then I have lost another 6 months of my life to the “friend zone” hoping for love and getting rejections.  So the standard response is most women want a man that is about the same age.   However, in the east, women will accept an older man that can take care of them and offer a stable family compared to a matched in age man that cannot support them or they are force to give up children.   The USA was both blessed and cursed with its wealth.   We are used to things working our way without compromises.   Historically American women will compromise the marriage and children for age matching relationships.   Many cultures outside of the advance western nations are not this demanding and are not willing to sacrifice marriages and children for age matching.   This is why the current USA culture after this 1970’s is dying and being demographically replaced by peoples and cultures that don’t sacrifice their marriages and children.   Age matching is desired but not required in many conditions.   The women I have met in Ukraine in their 20’s usually would not say NO at our age difference but they are concerned, they needed more time to understand the relationship.    However, there are all kinds of people and everyone should be happy for a marriage to work.   A marriage is the union of two families, not two lovers ignoring their surroundings.  I am not going to force anything.  I presented myself in public fairly, nothing hidden or secret.  Irina presented herself in public fairly, that is how I found her.  I am at least as good as the next man and in many characteristics much better.  Any other man could be here dating Irina if they wanted to and if Irina wanted to.  I have no final control, I can only ask and hope.  If any younger woman can get past my age I think we can have a successful marriage just that most women cannot especially in the USA and most western countries. There will be compromises no matter what I do.   However, if importing a wife from other cultures, younger women have advantages in flexibility and ability to change if the husband can give her the proper support and attention during the critical first year.