Advice on Writing Letters

Writing Letters


There is a lot of confusion about this topic. Should I write letters to ladies? How often? How many? Under what circumstances? Well, I hopeI can help. Letters (or email) can be a great tool, when used to your advantage. Of course, it is easy to get compulsive about it. John Adams is famous for saying that he never wrote his lovely wife a single letter initially. He just met her at a social and things developed from there. Of course, they have been happily married for years. What about you?

First, there are different types of letters. Let’s go through them. If you have taken the time to establish an AFA profile with some pics (and you should), any of our 45,000 ladies can send you an introduction letter unless you specify that you do not wish to receive them (which you can do easily). Just as you might do, the ladies may send duplicate letters to several men. The letters will be rather general in nature. It is an easy matter to simply click on the ladies photo and determine if she might be what you are looking for – location, age, children, etc. If not simply delete it. If you wish to read the introduction letter, the cost is $5.95. I would urge you to be very selective when answering. Remember, this lady is simply reaching out and hoping that a guy will want to write her back and hoping for success. It could happen, of course.

If you decide to write a letter to a lady, there are two methods.If you are a Platinum member ($29.95 per month), you may have an advantage. I’ll come back to this later. If not, it is rather simple. You can write what you wish and send the letter. Our system will translate and deliver the letter.(Again, more on how this may happen, later). Once the lady receives it she can delete it, just read it or reply. This is completely up to her, of course. Remember, the very attractive, younger ladies may receive dozens, even hundreds of emails. So, yours (as nice as it may be) could easily get lost in the pile. On the other hand, she may read and enjoy your letter and reply!

Now, how does all this work? Well, it can be complex. Your letter (in English) will be received by the appropriate office. They will translate it and notify the lady (probably by phone) that she has a letter waiting for her in her native language. Perhaps she will ask the office to read it to her or she may visit the office (when she has time!) and pick up a copy. If she wants to reply, the process reverses. She will write in her native language and either drop it off or maybe dictate it over the phone. It will then be translated and sent to your inbox. Now please understand that this may take awhile. You see, we are blessed with almost immediate email conversations – it is expected. Not so overseas as you are starting to understand. Of course, she maybe very interested and reply right away. What is important is that you exercise a lot of patience. Don’t read into the pace of the communication. Rather, get a sense for what she is comfortable with and adjust accordingly. If it takes a week, then you can expect a weekly correspondence.

If you are not a platinum member and the ladies profile indicates “No email address available” in the third red box (which will be grayed out), you will have to proceed as above. The only difference is thecost. Platinum members are charged $7.49 per page (3,000 charaters), others must pay $9.99. Understand the ladies receive nothing, but since the office is doing the translation and notification, they must be paid. Also, if you decide to attach a photo (nice idea), the cost is $3.50 per pic. The charge is the same if the lady includes a photo or two.

To become a platinum member the cost is $95 initially and $29.95 permonth. For this you can receive as many as 100 “virtual addresses” per month as well as a discount on per minute phone translation. So, what is a virtual address? Well, federal law dictates how AFA must proceed when providing contact information. If a lady has “Add email address to my order” in the third red box on her profile, you can benefit. Once you complete the process of requesting, a virtual address (not actual) will be sent to your regular email address (gmail, etc.). You are then free to write her as often as you wish and include all the photos you want. Remember, there may be language obstacles, but she may have a friend translate for her, or she may understand English. Once she writes to you, you will have her actual email address and can begin to communicate as often as you wish for free. Understand, as convenient and inexpensive as this is, only a percentage of the ladies offer virtual addresses. It is up to them.They must decide to do   it and sign forms in the office.

So what should you do? Well, survey the ladies and notice how many offer the virtual address feature. You can then decide if the Platinum membership makes sense for you. Many, including myself think so. It’s up to you. By the way, you will receive a complimentary membership when you registerfor a romance tour (and you should).

Now for some strategy. First, select the country or even city that offers the most profiles that interest you. Don’t start sending dozens of letters professing eternal love to women you have never met. Unfortunately, many men fall into this habit, sometimes for years. We call them “keyboard Romeos”. They write with no plans or intention to actually travel to meet these ladies – how sad. Guess what? I have discovered that there are “keyboard Juliets” as well! These are ladies that realize how few men will actually make the effort to come to see them and realize that having an international “penpal” is better than nothing. Please resist the temptation to fall into this situation.

So, what is the best way to proceed? Well, once you have identified the country and city and have a good idea WHEN YOU WILL GO ON TOUR THERE, write to the top ladies that meet your criteria (age, children, etc.) (See Bud’s book for good advice on this), write a short letter that explains why you are interested in her and a bit about yourself (don’t brag). In the subject line write “I am coming to your city soon (or in May or whatever)”. You have a great chance of having your letter go to the top of the pile! Few men can say this.

Can the women see your profile the way you can see theirs? Not really. They must go to office and ask to see yours, assuming it is available. AFA protects you in this way. This is not Match or eHarmony.

I hope this is helpful to you. All this information is available on or simply call the office. Be sure to read Bud Patterson’s book, Foreignbride 101, available on the site as well. Good luck!


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Don’t Die with your Love Inside You!

Don’t Die with your Love Inside You
In order for you to understand this title, you need to view Bud Patterson’s latest video blog on He relates this to a famous song by Dan Fogelberg. It makes perfect sense. It comes down to “what are you waiting for?” Do yourself and a lucky lady a favor and view it. Then take some action to improve your life as thousands have done.
Well done, Bud, my good friend!

The AFA Business Model

The AFA Business Model
Here is something to ponder. Many of you have business experience, at least as consumers. Try and think of a business that wants nothing more than for you to find happiness and cease doing business with them as soon as possible! Good luck. Cell companies, insurance companies, TV cable companies all want you to continue to use their service as long as possible. AFA wants you to get on a plane, find that special lady, get married and live happily every after as thousands have done (including the key management of AFA).
Of course, letter writing, phone translation and especially fantastic tours are offered to help you. Have you ever wondered why “chat” is not included? Once you are married, AFA hopes that you will spread the word among your friends. Not only that, but AFA offers 45,000 profiles of women from Eastern Europe, Asia and Latin America and continues to seek other venues for you.
I have carefully reviewed many of the other companies in this business, especially before I left on my first tour. None of them come close in their mission statement. I now have the privilege of knowing the company quite well and can assure you that they really have no competition.
BTW, view the latest blog by John Adams where he mentions two client letters he received and listen to his comments, especially the second one. It was addressed to me and is posted here for you to read. What is amazing is that this guy did all his research on the AFA site and Bud’s book and went over with a buddy. He is now applying for his fiancée visa! So, there it is. John and the rest of the team are just happy for the guy, although AFA never did any business with him.
Do your own research and select an American owned company that has been in business for 17 years and the management team has achieved personal happiness using their own business model. There is only one.

The Cities of the Ukraine and Selecting One

The Cities of the Ukraine
I have been honored to work and visit many cities in this beautiful country. Often I am asked by clients trying to decide which tour/city to select from those offered by AFA. It is a challenging question as each one has its own character and charm. What I have learned is that the answer lies within the expectation and personal experience of each man.
You see some men reside in a large city such as New York, Dallas or Los Angles. Others live in our heartland on farms. Still others call smaller cities like West Chester or Aspen home. Of course we could go on, but all that is important is what your choice and experience is. Naturally, men accustomed to sophisticated ladies from a large city will be more comfortable in Kiev, Kharkov or Odessa. While others will find Nikolayev, Poltava or Sumy more to their liking.
So what should you do? Well, the first task is to learn as much as you can about these cities and their history. This is easy given the Internet and many travel books. AFA tours usually blend larger and smaller cities together to appeal to a cross section of clients. In this way, you have a greater opportunity for success.
Once you have made a choice on a tour that includes cities that interest you and are conveniently scheduled, it is time to browse the many profiles available to you. Use the Search Engine for this. Make all the criteria selections appropriate for you – age, children, etc., then choose one of the cities on your desired tour such as Poltava. Since there are over 10,000 profiles in the Ukraine, you may need several cups of coffee to complete your search, but it will be entertaining. You may discover that you are browsing 100 or more.
Do your best to select a reasonable number, perhaps 5 -10. When you do, you can write each one and let them know that you will be visiting their city soon. This is a very compelling factor for the ladies, as thousands of men who will never get on a plane write letters to them. Yours will stand out, especially if you indicate your visit in the subject line. While there is no assurance, you are bound to have some success. When you finally arrive, you have a strong likelihood of a date.
I wish you the best.

A Great Letter . . .

Hey Bob-
Matt said he talked to you. He forwarded the picture of you and your lady – very lovely looking girl. I am going back to Ukraine in October. Tatyana and I are going to Crimea for a week over our birthdays, mine is the 14th and hers is the 16th so it is kind of cool. I can’t wait to get back there!!!! I completely understand now, what you said about sitting on your couch crying when you got back! That plane ride home is hell…. at least on the way over, the long trip adds to the anticipation. Matt and I figured out the secret though…. drink a load of the Polish vodka and apple juice they serve on the flight home. LOL! Certainly makes the return trip more bearable.
I have to disagree with what I was told by everyone about how wonderful the ladies are there…. they are 100 times better! I cannot believe that they are for real. I still can’t quite believe Tatyana is real…. but she definitely is! I am going to get to meet her family on this trip. She and I have had some discussions about her coming to live here, but we are waiting until our trip so we can seriously discuss it face to face. I am taking a ring with me, and if everything is good, I am going to propose. She and I have discussed her desire for children, and I have decided that if we are to be married, I am going to have my vasectomy reversed and have at least one child with her. What a change! I had thought about the possibility of having a child, mostly because I know how important it is to the ladies there. After seeing how the women are with their children, and how kind and caring Tatyana is towards me, I am thrilled at having a child and seeing how a real mother cares for her children.
I am so amazed by Tatyana…. so is incredibly intelligent. I learned a little bit of Russian before our trip, and she had taken a few English classes. We tried to teach each other a little bit while we were together. I would tell her a word once, maybe twice and she had it! As for me, there were some words I still can’t get, after her (patiently) repeating it for me a dozen times. Language will not be an obstacle. She really wanted to take some classes, but she said she could not afford them. I offered to pay for them. It took a little coaxing, I think she felt awkward accepting help from me, but I explained to her that if she were to come here, I would want her to have at least a basic understanding so that she would not feel so isolated and awkward in her new home. I got her into classes at a school there in Nikolayev. She really enjoys them and her teacher says she is doing very well.
Before I go, I just wanted to express how much I appreciate your help, even though we did not go with AFA. You are truly a class act Bob. I just hope I can convince Matt that he really can afford to go there again, and that he doesn’t need to wait. I know each person has to decide for themselves, but DAMN when you see how lovely and wonderful these women are, you just want to see your friends be happy with them.
Thanks again for everything. Das Vidanya!
P.S. She and I put a padlock on the bridge…… that is such a cool tradition!

A Big Week at AFA!

This is an exciting week for you. On Thursday, August 16 at 8:30 EST, be sure to log in to for a great webcast. John Adams will host a two part interview of three great guys who just returned from the Ukraine in July. In the first show you will hear about their expectations. In the second part on August 30, they will discuss how they feel about the tour.
I will be calling in and I can tell you that these men are now my friends and had a great time. So, if you really want to hear it “from the horse’s mouth”, this is the show for you. Mark it on your calendar now, although the show and the complete interviews will be posted in the near future.
Also, the 2013 tour and seminar schedule is almost ready to publish. So, watch for that.
If that is not enough, our man Bud Patterson will be hosting the September Ukraine tour to Odessa and Kiev – six great cities and hundreds of beautiful women. As many of you know, you could not be in better hands. There is still time to make a reservation. Make a decision and call. You will not be sorry. Quite the contrary, it will change your life – it changed mine. Good luck.

Common “Faux Pas” when dating in Ukraine


The biggest problem I have encountered seems so simple. You see, the ladies over there all have common names like Svetlana, Tanya, Irina, etc. It is so easy to get them confused when meeting or writing to them.

It happened last night to a great guy who just returned on tour with me. He was writing to some ladies he met and mixed them up on his email. He sent the “thread” to the wrong girl – not once, but twice!! I hope you are following me. Anyway, the lesson is take good notes and be very careful! It is tough to recover from this as the ladies become very territorial once they believe they are the “only one”. They hold on like pit bulls. While this is nice, you have to handle it well. Good luck.


AFA Seminars – A great deal


If you ever get the chance, do yourself a favor and spend an afternoon with John Adams or Bud Patterson. I have participated in four – NY, Philly, DC and Miami. Here’s the deal. Guys that have gone on tour, are engaged or even happily married show up to answer questions. There are a group of guys just like yourself trying to decide whether to go. The AFA team gives a great presentation with video – and there’s free food!

The best part is that if you make a decision (and you should) you can take advantage of significant discounts on your tour. So, if your NFL team is not playing, I can’t imagine a better way to spend your time. There is plenty of info on or just call. Enjoy.




I get many questions about this. Is there a cultural difference in Ukraine regarding affection when compared to America? Well, I have some thoughts that may help.

First of all, there is no cultural difference that I could discover. Men are men and women are women as simple as that may seem. You see, clients travel over with their hearts wide open knowing they have a limited amount of time. When they find a lady with some common interest, they hope for a display of affection after a date or two. Here is the question. Would that be the case at home? Probably not. Then why expect it over here?


My book – “A Man’s Field Guide to Dating”


I hope that you don’t mind, but I would like to tell you about my book which may be of help. I originally wrote this in 1999 in paperback. Although it is out of print now, you can still buy secondary market copies of it on Amazon very inexpensively.

I produced a second edition this year as an ebook in Kindle on Amazon. If that is your style, please enjoy. Here is the Table of Contents.

Contents At A Glance







4 – YOU



7 – FUEL



10 – STYLE















25 – SEX